The silence around miscarriage is one of the most challenging aspects of the experience. Many women feel pressure to "move on" from their loss quickly. Healing will take time and is more effective when you have the support of others. Reaching out for help is essential to your healing. Whether you speak with a family member, close friend, professional counselor, or trained client advocate, having someone who understands your feelings and the impact of your pregnancy loss can truly help you.
At iChoose, we provide abortion recovery support to both men and women who are working through their unresolved emotions after a loss. Even though miscarriage and abortion are different, they share a lot in common when it comes to grief. Our trained client advocates are here to listen to you without pushing you toward a particular outcome. You do not have to go through this alone.
Many of the clients we see at iChoose are looking for ways to take care of themselves while grieving. Grieving is exhausting. People often forget to take care of themselves physically, eating regularly, getting outside, and so on. Here are a few examples of what has worked for women to help them through their grief:
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Allow Yourself to Grieve. You do not need a reason for your grief other than the loss. Give yourself permission to cry, write in a journal, or simply sit quietly with your feelings.
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Create a Personal Ritual. Some women find comfort by creating a personal ritual to memorialize the baby, such as planting a tree, lighting a candle, or writing a letter. The ritual should simply be a way to acknowledge the loss.
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Set Limitations. If someone says something unhelpful or hurtful, it's okay to either change the subject or walk away from the conversation. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your grief.
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Seek Professional Help. Depending on what stage of grief you're in, professional guidance from a counselor or a pregnancy loss support group can help you process your feelings.
Resources for Support Near You
If you live in the Clayton or Knightdale areas, you have access to local resources to assist you emotionally after experiencing a miscarriage. iChoose can connect you with local community resources and give you a safe space to talk about your feelings. We also offer a fatherhood program for fathers who experience grief after a miscarriage.
If you are not sure where to go for support, you may want to ask your physician about support groups for people who have experienced pregnancy loss. Many hospitals and birth centers have established groups. The goal is to find a supportive environment where you can be honest without fear of judgment.
Healing Doesn't Have a Timeline
There is no time frame for healing after a miscarriage. Each person has their own perspective. Some women feel better within a few months, while others will carry the loss with them for years. Both are acceptable. Allow yourself compassion and patience.
If you do not know where to go for help or if you are struggling with resolving your grief, we encourage you to call us at (919) 585-4353 for assistance at our Clayton center, or (919) 679-3232 to speak with a client advocate at our Knightdale center. You may also schedule an appointment online to meet with a client advocate in person. You can find us at 540 Veterans Parkway, Clayton, NC 27520 and 4019 Village Park Dr, Knightdale, NC 27545.
Remember, you are not alone. We are here to listen. We care. We are ready when you are.